I found this lovely wee excerpt from BBC3 on youtubes.

I for one dont believe in any of this kind of malark, I would quite like to, but theres just no concrete evidence and burkes like these psychics dont help. Accompanying these are astrologists, women like mystic meg hell bount on sprouting shite associating the planets and stars to everday life situations and even creating love forecasts!!! Supposidly ive got a cloudy heart today with outbreaks of on-fire tomorrow, hmmmmm. Whatever my hearts doing I shall stick to the proven method of following life by reading the jokes on penguin biscuits which seem to be as relevant as the solar system.

Pixar are apparently releasing the story of toys 1 and 2 in the cinema in the revived format of 3D, and personally I am keen. Having watched Coraline in 3D, I loved it. Jaws 3D stank, but that’s water under the 80’s. Essentially, I want to relive my childhood of people throwing my toys in my face. Also the ad below suggests some kind of ‘two films for the price of one’ action, which rocks my wallet.

via den of geek

I really really liked Juno, but this trailer for Diablo Cody’s follow up new film’ Jennifer’s body’ looks like the antithesis of everything great about Juno/a teenage goth boy’s wet dream/crap.

From what I’ve seen, Ellen Page bright, funny and sparky, just like her character in the aforementioned. By contrast let me summarise this interview with Megan Fox re: Transformers;  pout, rub neck flirtily, I like shoes, I didn’t realise I had a character or would have to do anything in this movie so i didn’t prepare, robots sound British, Michael Bay made me hurt myself when doing stunts (which was great) and then would show me my face and say “come watch what you do with your face cos it actually hurt!”, you get lumped in with other girls doing things that are(n’t?) [can't quite tell]- sideways glance to publicist- shedding positive light on young girls. Maybe I’m being unfair so here’s a direct link to today’s press release where she clearly talks about the character development in the new movie and you can decide for yourself. Unapologetic and inappropriate, yes probably true.

Hopefully I’ll be proved wrong by the films complete subversive undermining of the genre itself, spelling the end for the whole wanky goodlooking vampire thing (although I’m guessing the whole Megan Fox/lesbian kiss/cheerleader outfit thing might override, for most of the audience, any postmodernist critiques). And yes, apparently she’d not really a vampire because she actually eats people, making her more of a goodlooking zombie? Which certainly would subvert the reason for zombie films (and what makes them so great).  I just want to SCREEEEEEAM (and not in a good way).

For those of us looking for some subversive vampirical greatness here’s none-other than Jean Painleve’s ‘wildlife documentary’ Le Vampire, 1945 [stick with it till 2mins 53 when Nosferatu appears]. It’s in french so it must be clever (couldn’t find a subtitled version but doesn’t matter). And it has a great jazz soundtrack (the BFI’s DVD has a soundtrack by Yo La tengo). I feel better already.

Yes, we may have forgotten this but art, and cinema, can be important and beautiful and life-affirming. Bill Douglas knew this.

I am ashamed to say I have never seen the autobiographical Childhood trilogy for which he is famous, despite the fact he grew up just outside Edinburgh, the nexus of my existence. But I am very proud to be the owner of the new DVD of Comrades, which until now - well officially tomorrow (BFI sent mine early, woo hoo)- it was almost impossible to get hold of by all accounts… ad a six week run in London only and then practically disappeared.

Released during the Thatcher era (go figure), the film is based on the Tolpuddle Martyrs of the early 19th century, sent to Australia for daring to be involved in a ‘Friendly Society’ (basically a trade union) and still celebrated today. But far from being a factual documentary, what makes it stand out are the moments imaginative experimentation, of ‘fantastickal reverie’. (It reminds me a wee bit of one of my favourite novels, maybe the Great American Novel, Mason and Dixon by Thomas Pynchon which is based on factual events from late 18th century history but connecting the gaps are flights of imagination from talking dogs to alien abduction.)

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Yesterday a bit of browsing in Waterstones (other bookshops are available) led me to find a book of ‘Dream of the Rarebit Fiend’ strips by Winsor McCay, which featured daily in New York Evening Telegram from 1904 to 1911, essentially each strip represents a strange and fantastic dream brought on by the hallucinogenic properties of cheese. The illustration is just stunning, and the ideas are great. He also wrote Little Nemo in Slumberland aimed at kids, which apparently had an influence on Sandman. It just amazes me how newspaper comic strips seemed to reach their artistic peak virtually from the word ‘go’ (although I ’spose cartoons and illustrations had been around much much longer). Another serious love of mine is George Herriman and his Krazy Kat strips created in 1913, but more on him in a future post…

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I really, really love Futurama. Therefore I feel it is important that my potential misery must be seen through to its conclusion on the inter-webs, even if the end product is the suicide of my “funny gland”.

Topless Robot, the greatest site for alcoholic geeks, has several ’spies’ at the San Diego Comic-con. One of these geeks went to a Futurama panel. Here is the result…

By all accounts, the Futurama panel was kind of sad. Whatever that Fox “live decision” thing they had planned on doing was canceled, and none of the voice cast showed up. Cohen and crew couldn’t comment on any of the negotiations, and all they could tell the crowd was “cross your fingers.” That’s super, super depressing. But thanks to Brittney Le Blanc for the assist in covering the panel.

 

The fact that the cast didn’t show up means that this is a serious thing. Some fancy buisnessman/woman/child somewhere is trying to kill one of my favourite TV shows. Again. Whoever thought; “Futurama would be better, but only if the voices were done by someone else…” …well you are distinctly twatish. You are an Anus of the highest degree. I can’t see how replacing some of the best voice actors in the world for ’whoever’ makes any sense. I HATE YOU.   

Statement 1; This may not be the greatest site for geeky news.

Statement 2: All sites that suck at geeky news are rubbish

Therefore: I should be fed into a wood chipper whilst hilarious music is played.

It’s simple philosophy folks. Here’s a thing we bigged up long ago, then failed to follow up…’till now…

Post-it note style animation from these awesome dudes  makes you think… what would you say at the end…

From what I’ve read Admiral Nelson’s last words were ” Drink, drink. Fan, fan. Rub rub”, although there appears to be disagreement there. My Personal favourite must be Futurama’s “Tell my wife……hello” From the neutral planet.

Half Life is an amazing game, and even though its 8 years old Im glad to see people are going back to it and putting their spin on it. In the game you play Dr Gordon Freeman, a man you never hear speak, I assume not because he is mute -like some people thought oddly enough, hes got a ruddy PHD- its because he just cant be arsed! FACT. Anyhow, I found this video on youtubes that Ross Scott created where you hear what Gordon Freeman is thinking. Its the 3rd installment out of 12 will make you giggle and reminisce about the good ol’days.

Courtesy of those guys that what brought you Weebl and Bob, this is the tale of a piece of toast who rules over the moon, whose only companions are a prawn with eductional issues and Hitler. Below is episode 2 of many. Those of you who are already familiar with this because it is old internet fodder…I was going to apologise, but I think you won’t mind seeing it again and it getting a bump.

Fox are apparently trying to replace John DiMaggio, Maurice LaMarche, Billy West and Katy Sagal for the new supposed series of Futurama which will be partly funded by the Sci-Fi (Sy-Fy?) channel. That’s pretty much ALL THE MAIN CHARACTERS. I hate Fux, as do most people do, but i love Futurama. I don’t think I can watch this new thing if this actually happens. How could this be allowed? Why does Groening stay with these douchebags? Is this Fox trying to get these guy’s salaries down? Is this them trying to get people like me to write badly written articles like this as some kind of viral marketing?  Is there any way this can look good? No Fox. No. You look like cocks. I’m sure you’re fine with that. Fox cox. I will be very dissapointed in the actors if this is some kind of promotional bull crap. They are better than that.
via topless robot. Pic-i-ture from here.

If they start going for my family, I’m going militant because after so many years, I fear they may cancel them.

Think I’d rather listen to the Johnny Mathis version but impressive nonetheless… (Check out his versions of Super Mario and the Simpsons theme if you haven’t seen them).

OK- it’s 40 years today since Apollo 11 took off for the moon landing. Having ‘on the moon’ in our name, and a musical astronaut as a mascot we might as well milk this baby for all it’s worth. Which potentially means 8 days of moon related lunacy…

The Apollo 10 mission was essentially a sort of trial run which took place in May 1969, orbiting the moon within about 8 miles of its surface. Delightfully, the main command capsule was given the All-American call sign ‘Charlie Brown’ and the lunar module, ‘Snoopy’; the Peanuts characters becoming semi-official mascots to drum up support. Charlie’s namesake now resides at Science Museum, London.

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Ironically It took the newspapered words of Charlie Brooker for me to notice this little violation of humanity that is so horrible, British newspapers seemingly had better things to talk about. Here is a section from the ‘newspaper’ (Scottish Daily Express) that ran (FRONT PAGE!?!?) with how several Dunblane survivors are apparently not acting like heavenly creatures, but infact acting like human beings. Oh, the names have been removed by another blogger, not the newspaper. Source; from an equally raging, but better explained blog here

A number of the youngsters, now 18, have posted shocking blogs and photographs of themselves on the Internet, 13 years after being sheltered from public view in the aftermath.[...]

But now the Sunday Express can reveal how, on their web-based social networking sites, some of them have boasted about alcoholic binges and fights.

For instance, [name removed by JP] — who was hit by a single bullet and watched in horror as his classmates died — makes rude gestures in pictures he posted on his Bebo site, and boasts of drunken nights out.

Paula Murray, Scottish Sunday Express: Anniversary Shame of Dunblane Survivors

 

Just to clarify: A Scottish national newspaper found several surviving people from the Dunblane massacre on facebook and the like, and decided to go front page with all their normal human goings on…trying to shame them.  Paula Murray. That’s the first name on a new list I have of people I loathe. Join me. The Scum-shifter list. How fucking dare you? I hope you vomit up a tricycle and drive it to the edge of the universe, only to realise it wasn’t a tricycle all along, it was just your vomit held together by everyone elses dreams….(my story ends. Where Paula drives her vomit-trike from there is her buisness. I.e. you can ride it back to us… it’ gonna take a while.)

The eloquent Pickards says it best:

Don’t allow the media to tread over ordinary folks like this. Ordinary folks who have already been through quite enough, thank you, without grubby ’scandal-mongering’, moralising and yet strangely moral-free articles being used to sell a few more papers at the expense of these people.

Yeah. On your Tricycles. This isn’t journalism, it’s rubbernecking gossip.